The Storms of Life

So, this week has been pretty... stressful to say the least. Monday started out with me running late and then having to park clear out in Egypt when I got to school due to Patriot Preview Day, which in turn made me even more in a hurry. Luckily, I made it to class with one minute to spare, and the teacher wasn't even there yet, so that was pretty awesome! Then Tuesday was kind of bleh, because of...well, I don't think Tuesday had a reason to be bleh. And then today was not good; not good at all. I'm not even going to go there, because it was so incredibly embarrasing, and I don't think I can bring myself to tell the entire world. Let's just say that I would like it if I never had to show my face again in a particular class... and maybe never see those people again. But that's not exactly possible or even logical. So, it's been a pretty tough week. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who is supportive, a mom who is willing to listen, a lovely orchid that makes me smile (yes, a flower brightens my day), and kids to help teach on Wednesday nights. And lastly, I have a God who is always right by my side. I talked to Him my entire way home on Tuesday... I hadn't spent that much time praying in a very long time, but it felt really good. *Sigh* That's all good stuff right there.

On a completely different note, Tuesday evenings is when my Intro. to Church Music/Worship class meets. While it's a very long class (4:30-7:00), there are always very interesting topics. This past Tuesday was about worship styles and why churches have lifeless services. It was very interesting and actually... I almost hate to say it, but convicting. We are having a worship service this Friday at my church, and I am leading it. To be honest, I wasn't too excited about it, because it's exactly what we've done in the past that completely flopped. So, I basically wasn't putting my all into this service. However, in class we talked about how a lot of the spirit of worshp depends on the leadership. If the leaders are not truly worshipping, there is a huge possibility that no one else will be worshipping either. That really came and just kind of slapped me on the head for the reasons said above and some other reasons that I do not care to share here. But it was kind of a wake-up call. I am still unsure of what Friday has in store for us, but I am more confident now. And I feel like I'm ready to put my all into this service.

Another reason I wasn't really looking forward to this service is simply the fact that I am unexperienced as a worship leader. Sure, I know how to put a set together and feel as if I, with the help of a few has come up with some really good and worshipful songs to sing on Friday. But I realized that I was basically setting myself up for failure, much like I do in so many areas of my life. I was expecting us, and specifically me to be like the chapel leaders at school or similar to the skills of a praise team in a big church. And because I was expecting this out of myself, I felt like the congregation would also be expecting that. However, I came to the realization that I am just not there yet; and that's okay. I don't have to be a fantastic worship leader, because that's not what it is about. The worship service is all about a group of people gathering together to sing praises to God. And what am I? I am simply the one who get the opportunity to lead the gathering in singing their praises to God.

Despite this only being Wednesday, and despite this week not going well at all so far, I feel as if I have learned a lot in the past three days. And I'm going to admit that it hasn't been easy. While I'm glad that I am learning these lessons, I will be the first to admit that it kinda stinks learning lessons the hard way. But I guess that's how God has to teach us lessons sometimes. He allows us to go through some things that are hard, but then brings us out of them a much stronger person than before.

I hope that maybe this post has gotten you thinking about some things.

God bless.